Life on the Ark

Now it came to pass that the flood waters receded and the Ark settled down on the top of Mount Ararat. Noah checked out the scene and saw that it was time to release the animals. But first, there was some business to be done.

Noah gathered the animals together in the great assembly hall of the Ark. "Now, animals," he said, "I have some instructions for you." The Ark fell silent, there was not a single bark, bleat, or whinny to be heard. "Animals", he continued, "here it is. Go ye forth and multiply."

At that point, a voice was heard from the back of the ark. It was one of the snakes. The snake said, "But we can't go forth and multiply ... we're only adders."

Noah was unfazed. He made a few closing remarks and adjourned the meeting. "Stay close to your group leaders," he advised the animals, "as we will be reassembling in a short time."

Noah quickly went to his personal quarters and summoned his number one son. "Son," he said, "we seem to have landed a little bit above the tree line. But I see a clump of cedar trees a short distance off. Go ye forth, and chop down a cedar tree and bring it back.

Noah's son did as he was instructed, and once he brought back the trunk of the cedar tree, Noah gave him some additional instructions. "Son," he said, "take ye primitive carpenter tools and with same, fashion the cedar tree into a series of crude planks and join them together to make a picnic table."

"But, pop," replied the son, "what's a picnic?"

"Don't worry about that," said Noah, "these are Biblical times, and picnics haven't been invented yet. The main thing is just to build the table as quickly as possible, and you don't have to spend a lot of time finishing off the rough edges."

Noah's son did as he was instructed and soon the table was put together. It was a bit on the rough side, but Noah seemed satisfied.

Noah reassembled the animals.

"Animals," he said, "go ye forth and multiply." And Noah made a point of picking up the snakes and placing them on top of the newly constructed table. Noah had come to an important realization. Even adders can multiply on a log table.

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Rev. 09/08/08 g